the tale of laura and the cats and the mouse

so this actually happened two weeks ago, but i have been too busy doing nothing  to write it up. for those of you who don’t know, three weeks ago i moved up to london to stay with my friends. they have two kittens, one is small and very furry and smart, the other is huge and dumb. when i moved in i was warned that there may be a mouse around, because a bag of popcorn had disappeared. so, on the friday afternoon, i needed to go shower because i was headed to a party in the evening. i went into the bathroom and both cats were in there, now, they do often sit in weird places, so i didn’t think it was necessarily odd. but then i saw it. the mouse. it was tiny, one of those little field ones (we live like 30 seconds from the park), but even so it just filled me with this sudden sense of terror. it was kind of half dead, luckily lilah (the smart one) had batted it around enough so that it wasn’t going to move anywhere by itself, but it was still twitching and it was gross. luckily they haven’t learned to properly eat it yet so it was still intact and not mangled. i ran back into the living room and went straight online to ask my bestie what in the fuck to do. he told me i had to kill it because it was cruel to just leave it being tortured. now this was doubly hard considering that i’ve never had to kill anything that wasn’t a bug before, combined with the whole hating and being scared of them thing. there was no way in hell i would be able to actually touch it with my hands, so he told me i should pick it up with a newspaper, put it in a carrier bag, and hit it with a hammer. which i did. except i didn’t know where i would find a hammer so i used my wellie instead. and then i threw the bag straight in the trash. the whole thing was made more complicated by the fact that jim (the dumb one) had managed to get it the whole way down the stairs and had managed to lose it under the doormat. i haven’t seen one since, so that’s good at least. and right now jim is putting his bum in lilah’s face.

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